


Finding What's Real (I've Been Looking So Long)

by flipflop_diva



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bisexual Kara Danvers, F/F, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Episode: s02e22 Nevertheless She Persisted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 08:25:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12339039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva
Summary: It happened so slowly she didn’t even realize it had happened at first. It was just that everyone else was in a relationship — Alex and Maggie were planning their wedding, J’onn and M’gann were together, Winn and Lyra were going strong. Even James was practically in a super committed monogamous relationship with CatCo.Lena was the only one available most times — and also the only one who didn’t make her think about what her life had become.





	Finding What's Real (I've Been Looking So Long)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ifyouresure](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifyouresure/gifts).



> Written for the Femslash Exchange 2017 Fest.
> 
> To ifyouresure, I was a bit nervous writing this when I saw this is your first fest. I hope I've done justice to your prompts and that you like it!

It happened so slowly she didn’t even realize it had happened at first. It was just that everyone else was in a relationship — Alex and Maggie were planning their wedding, J’onn and M’gann were together, Winn and Lyra were going strong. Even James was practically in a super committed monogamous relationship with CatCo.

Lena was the only one available most times — and also the only one who didn’t make her think about Mon-El. She never asked if she was okay or wanted her to talk about her feelings. They just chatted like everything was normal and laughed and hung out. First for drinks here and there, then for a movie, then lunch, then for a movie and dinner, then just dinners that lasted for hours on end, and then suddenly it was sleepovers at Lena’s pretty incredible rooftop apartment and even a few times in Kara’s noticeably smaller place.

“What are we doing?” 

It was late. Really late actually. The sun had long ago gone down. In a few hours, it was going to be coming up again. They were curled up together on the couch in Lena’s living room, shoulders and heads pressed together. The movie that was the premise for getting together had long ago ended and now they were just watching old episodes of Friends, aimlessly eating popcorn from the giant bowl between them, more often than not with their fingers gently skimming the other’s.

Lena’s fingers stopped moving at Kara’s question. Kara could feel the heat of her body right against hers.

“What do you think we’re doing?” she said.

“I’m not really sure,” Kara replied. “It’s why I’m asking.”

Lena was quiet for a beat. “I think we’re doing what you want us to be doing,” she finally said. “Best friends watching a movie and soothing broken hearts. Or …” She didn’t finish the thought.

“Soothing our broken hearts?” Kara asked. She knew Lena had gone on a few dates with some guy a few weeks before but she had never hinted that it was anything serious.

But Lena was looking at her like she had just sprouted wings. “Mon-El,” she said, and Kara had to struggle to keep a straight face.

“What?” she said. “That’s not … I didn’t … What?”

She kept trying to find the words even as Lena’s head titled to the side, and she narrowed her eyes a little. 

“I’m not stupid,” Lena said. “Or blind. It’s pretty obvious.”

“It … is?” Kara fidgeted with her glasses, heart sinking at the thought that Lena had known her deepest secret all along, without her getting the chance to tell her.

“We spend hours upon hours together. You look exactly the same, but your never in the same place at the same time. Of course it’s obvious.”

“You never said anything.”

“ _You_ never said anything,” Lena returned.

“Yeah.” Kara turned her head. “It’s not that I want to hide things from you. It’s just …”

“It’s just you hide that from everyone, except those you work with.”

“Yes.” Kara nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Lena shook her head. “Don’t be,” she said. “I know more than anyone about being judged by what people think they know about you and not by what you really are.”

“I still should have …”

“It’s fine.”

Kara tried to smile. “Okay,” she said.

Lena shifted, got to her feet. “I’m going to get more popcorn,” she said. “I think we could use it.”

•••

Kara made a confession of her own a few days later. She had been thinking about Lena since the minute she had left her place. Thinking about how she had known she was Supergirl but never said anything. Never even hinted. Even went along with her disappearances as Kara and reappearances as Supergirl and vice versa and all the times she almost said the wrong thing.

And how, even with all that lying and deceiving, she never took it personally or thought it was ever about Kara not trusting her enough.

It was almost more than Kara thought she deserved, and it made her want to return Lena’s faith in her.

“Can I tell you something?”

They were once again sitting side-by-side, this time with glasses of wine and a comedy playing on the giant screen television.

“You know you can tell me anything. Or I hope you know that.”

“It’s about Mon-El.”

Kara thought for a moment that she felt Lena stiffen just slightly beside her, but Lena’s face didn’t change, nor did the pressure of her fingers on her glass, so she told herself she must have imagined it.

“I’ve been thinking about him and me,” she started.

“Okay.”

“And I’m not sure I really loved him.”

Lena lowered her wine glass. She stared at Kara. “That,” she finally said, “I was not expecting you to say.”

Kara shrugged. “I wasn’t expecting it to say it either.”

“What makes you think that? Do you mind me asking?”

“You’re the only one I don’t mind asking.” Kara felt her voice drop almost to a whisper as the words left her mouth. She stared down at the blanket that was covering them both, almost afraid to see Lena’s face.

“Why?” Lena’s voice seemed quieter than normal, too, like they were both waiting for what came next.

“Because.” Kara had to stop. She took a breath, tried to slow her heartbeat. This was it. The moment that would change everything. Or ruin everything. That could send her plummeting back into the depression that only Lena had brought her out of by showing her what was out there. By showing her _who_ was out there.

Kara forced herself to look up at her. “Because there’s someone else I’m pretty sure I love. And it doesn’t feel the same.”

She willed herself to not look away, to not suddenly get to her feet and run. Lena was starting at her, almost frozen, eyes wide. Kara could almost see her words sinking in.

And then …

And then Lena was leaning forward and her lips were on Kara’s. And suddenly, it was worth it. It was all worth it.

Lena pushed her back on the couch and Kara went willingly. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she had the sense that her wine glass had spilled everywhere, that the movie was still running, that the popcorn was burning in the microwave in the kitchen, but she didn’t care and she didn’t think Lena did either.

She wrapped her arms around Lena, kissed her like she had wanted to for so long, and felt Lena respond in kind.

And somewhere inside Kara, something shifted, and she knew. She had been right. What she’d had with Mon-El had been special. But what she had with Lena just might be forever.


End file.
